IF.

♥ Hate Me For Being A Joker ♥

if the time may flows backwards...
is there anything that you want to do or change?

yupp. sure.
there's so many things that i wish to change.
and it's all about you.

IF.
we like to use the word IF after losing a chance to do something.
the only word we can use to tell people, how much we regret for that.
"may be if it happens, everything will be different. everything will be better for sure~"
we console ourselves by saying that.
IF.

i wondered that... why i changed.
changed into such a hesitative person.
that's not me. i know.
i'm just lost.

when i try to hate you, i'll realize how much i love you.
so i admit that i love you.
when i admit that i love you, you will act like you know nothing.
so i act like i don't care.
when i act like i don't care, you will think that i hate you.
so i show you my concern.
when i show you my concern, you will think that i want something from you.
so i stay away from you.
when i stay away from you, i'll know how much i miss you.
so i come near to you.
when i come near to you, you will try to escape from me.

what's the matter now?
i promised myself to live better.
since the day we say goodbye.
but i kept my promise to you instead of keeping the promise to myself.
i can't keep both in the same time.

once, i wish i have the only key to open your heart.
i wish to be the only one who have it.
unlock your heart, walk into the deepest part, and stay.
i thought i did.
but actually i never.
my love wasn't the key.

i want to be myself.
i want to be happy.
i want myself back.
tiff,
please come back.
please.
cheer up? ;)